No Name for Him

They backtracked the following day. Ordinarily it would have been a dismal business but Illumina was in an exuberant mood. The Prince caught something of her mood and volunteered that he wanted to run. He ran ahead of the dogs, shouting and waving at them. The dogs took the challenge and ran after him but he wouldn't let them pass. Even when Daisy barked and snapped at him, he just laughed and continued to run, dodging left and right so the dogs could not get past. Eventually Illumina, laughing and shouting as well, had to call a halt, afraid that Daisy would get really excited and actually bite him.

She was amazed watching him, seeing a real change in him. Though it may have been obvious what the agent of the change was, the fact of the change, what exactly it consisted of, remained completely mysterious to her. It had something of the difference between a good sled dog and a bad one. There was some correlation with things like size and parentage but not much, mostly it was just something in the dog. She had seen indifferent dogs suddenly become something else, going from a dog that simply could not be bothered to one that could pull all day and still be ready for more.

She felt the same fragility in him; he could easily flip back into what he was. Just as she would respond to the spirit in a dog, giving the dog something but not too much, letting the dog see how much she saw, she responded to the spirit in the Prince. She gave him a little, asking him to set the fire and giving nothing but praise even when he made it too large and used green wood. She told him to watch the evening's stew and showed him how not to burn it and how to judge when it was done.

He obeyed her implicitly. He literally owed her his life. He did not understand yet what that meant but there was something in him that acknowledged it and would never escape from it.

The five of them were sitting round the fire, a far more convivial group, the Prince actually asking Taddeo about the day's hunt. He had been gone sometime and come back with a deer. The dogs went wild knowing they would get their share, by then, sitting round the fire; every last scrap of the animal was gone. Taddeo was describing some of the details of the hunt, how he knew where the animal was, the direction of the wind, the lie of the land.

Illumina noticed the Prince flinch as he shifted on the log and wondered if he was still feeling any ill effects of the immersion in the icy water. She was about to ask him when she realized she had no name for him. She thought how sad that was, that he had no name. Circumstances had robbed him of anything anyone could call him in affection or companionship. She looked up at him, seeing him looking at her, he smiled, she returned the smile. "Hey Prince, I think its time we found something sensible we can call you besides a title. Do you have a name?"

He laughed and replied, "Yes I do, though I don't think anyone has ever used it." Illumina was distracted for a moment by the sight of Nina staring into the fire as though no one else was present obviously whispering something to herself. Illumina couldn't make out what it was but it looked as though she were chanting something saying the same word over and over.

Illumina's attention snapped back to the Prince realizing that he was feeling uncomfortable at having announced the fact that he had a name and she had then gone quiet on him. She laughed and said, "Sorry I was distracted, so what is this useless name of yours?"

She laughed, they all laughed except Nina, when he blushed and said, "Libratore."

Illumina looked at him in disbelief, "Your name is 'Liberator'?" What kind of a name is that?

He laughed and said defensively, "It's got an 'e' on the end. I think it was some kind of political statement that was thought expedient at the time."

Illumina and the two men laughed about his name, making jokes about what else he might have been called in the same vein such as 'Savior', 'Rescuer', 'Redeemer'. The Prince admitted in the end it could have been worse, but not much. Illumina smiled at him, a look of genuine warmth. "Why don't we call you 'Libby' at least among ourselves it'll ensure none of us ever takes you too seriously."

He looked serious and sad for a moment, "I wouldn't think there's much chance of that ever happening, taking me seriously that is. It's a good name, maybe if you use it and I hear it, I'll learn not take myself too seriously."

They called him 'Libby', making liberal use of the name and it did seem to consolidate the change in him. Illumina was quite clear that the change was for the better but she was also acutely aware that it was not enough. He had changed, changed profoundly but there was still something missing in his relationship with the other people in the group.

He had gone from being relatively indifferent to Illumina to being completely subservient to her. There was no question in her mind that he would do anything she told him to do. He talked quite feely with the men but obviously considered himself different to them, inadequate by comparison. Of course, in a way, he was right but he seemed to miss the point that they were all people and as such all ultimately on an equal footing. It was a point that Illumina found hard to express to herself, so she was unable to articulate it within the group other than through the normal everyday interaction to which she always brought a profound respect for the other people involved.

It was an immense relief to her to be able to offer the same respect to Libby, even if he did not consider himself worthy of it and had difficulty recognizing it for what it was; at least there was something in him now that reached for it, making it possible for her to reach for him. She still had no interest whatever in him as a man but she found she actually liked him and at times even enjoyed his company.

Nina continued to be a mystery. She would not use Libby's name. She stopped using 'Prince' or other honorifics but went to elaborate lengths to avoid calling him anything at all. It was as though, when he acquired a name, he also moved away from Nina. She lost something of her connection with him and became distant, watching him from across the fire. Illumina watched her and wondered again at the connection between them.

To follow this thread in the story go to: Where We Came From

Table of Contents