Take as Being Real

Nina hung back as Illumina and Wals led the way down to Norton. The following was behind them, Norton lay before them. They had to find some way to persuade the people of Norton to help them or the town would be destroyed.

It all seemed distant and abstract to Nina. She felt increasingly detached from the company as they made their way to Norton; she felt detached from herself, no longer sure what she cared about, what she remembered or what she wanted.

Illumina paused at the crest of the hill and then walked quickly down towards the town with Wals walking beside her. Brac and Drem walked side by side behind Wals and Illumina, Cosimo and Felice rode behind them with Manueline and the Prince riding at the rear of the company just ahead of Nina. The wolf and Daisy ranged out to either side sniffing at the scents coming to them from the town.

Nina tugged at the packhorse she was leading and followed the others. She resented the contact between Manueline and the Prince. 'She has no business attaching herself to him. He should be leading the company, not the junior daughter of a minor local lord.' Nina gasped as she thought again of the things that she sought to drive out of her mind. She forced her mind to go blank, refusing to see what was before her, letting the sights in front of her come into her mind as though they were just images; a shadow puppet show that she had to witness but did not have to take part in, did not have to take as being real.

The rest of the company hung back as Illumina and Wals approached the gate and talked to the people of the town who came out to meet them. There followed a whirl of activity as food and camps were prepared for the following. Manueline and the Prince threw themselves into the effort. Though the Prince could not do much as he did not speak the language commonly used in the following, he stayed with Manueline, protecting her merely by his presence.

Nina stood by the gate for a time watching Manueline and the Prince. As it began to get dark, she went into the chaos of the town, leading the horses, finding her way to the North Lord's residence. Illumina, rushing by at one point, told her to go there as they would all be staying in the residence while they were in Norton.

The house was huge, much of it built on pylons over the river. It was set at the bend in the river so it was possible to see a long way both upstream and down. Out of sheer habit, Nina saw the horses stabled properly and wandered off to find the kitchens, expecting to have to provide a meal for the company sometime later in the evening.

The house was deserted. She stood in the empty kitchen, wondering if anyone was about, calling timidly into the silence; no one came. Standing alone, listening, she became aware of a thin, keening wail, coming from somewhere in the house. It struck her, how odd it was that there was no doubt in her mind that the sound came from within the house. There was something about the sound; about it being closed in the same space as herself that made her sure it was someone or something in the house itself. She opened a door leading out of the kitchen into one of the main halls, following her sense of where the sound came from. The hall was immense to her eyes, even remembering the time she had been in the King's City, though that had been so long ago. The building reminded her strongly of the buildings she remembered from that time. She stood for a moment, breathless with the memories that flowed through her.

The sound started again, only louder this time. She was sure whoever was making the sound had moved, opened a door perhaps. Again, she was struck by how certain she was of the relative positions of herself and the person making the sound. Nina walked out into the hall. She recognized it as a reception room. It was a beautiful room with windows on the far side looking out over the river. Nina's feeling of unreality was only reinforced by her presence there; alone where so many people had been before, people she knew nothing of and that new nothing of her. There were doors open on the right as she came in and the sound became louder as she approached the doors. It was like a ringing in her ears. It felt like the sound was inside her; as though Nina had become trapped in the house and now the house was becoming trapped inside her. Whatever was in the house, making the noise, had made its way inside her as well.

As she crossed the hall, Nina became afraid of confronting the source of the sound. Just as she knew where the sound came from, she knew now, what the sound was. It was a woman mourning the loss of a child; more than that, mourning the loss of something that never was; an extravagant, all-consuming grief that sprang from a life unfulfilled; a relationship that had been deferred and now could never be taken up because the object of the relationship was gone. Nina recognized it and trembled as she crossed the hall, knowing what she would find on the other side; knowing that she could not just let the sound go on, she had to do something. She could not leave the house; it was where the others would expect to find her. She could not shut out the noise; shutting doors would only have the effect of shutting it in, shutting herself in with it. She crossed the hall, trembling as she went through the door on the other side and the sound became louder still.

Beyond the door, she came into the main entrance hall for the house. It consisted of a large, high room with a ceiling almost double the height of the ceiling in the hall she just left. The front door was on her right, a huge, double, wooden door, easily twice her height; shut and bolted as far as she could see. A staircase, on a scale to match the front door, took up most of the wall opposite where she stood. It swept up the wall, meeting a balcony that looked down on the front door and apparently continued above where she stood. She could not see the balcony above her head but she knew the mourning woman was there. As Nina stood for a moment in the doorway leading into the entrance hall, she could hear movement above her head, transmitted through the wooden floor of the balcony; someone pacing up and down. The wailing went silent for a moment but was taken up again, a horrible, high-pitched keening sound that took up the entire space; the whole room was completely flooded by it.

Nina walked out into the middle of the room and turned, looking up and back, looking at the balcony. There was a woman on the balcony still pacing, even as Nina looked at her. She seemed about Nina's age, though it was hard to tell. There was blood around her mouth where her nose or her lip had been bleeding. Her face had red welts down both cheeks, as though she had been struck with a whip. Looking at her, Nina realized they were scratch marks, left where she had savaged her own face with her fingernails. Her hair was wild and unkempt, she was dressed in a shift, possibly a garment meant for sleeping in, it was hard to tell, whatever it was, it was covered in blood.

Suddenly she stopped pacing. She was staring past Nina looking at the front door. She came to the edge of the balcony, putting her hands on the balustrade, still looking down at the door. Slowly, deliberately, she turned her gaze on Nina, her eyes widening, even the welts going white as the blood drained from her face. She raised her right hand, pointing a finger at Nina. She asked, speaking quietly at first, "What have you done with my son? Where is he? What have you done with him?" Her voice rose to a scream as she spoke and spoke again. She began to tear at her hair, moaning and sobbing, as she seemed to forget about Nina for a time. She went still and spoke once more, asking the same question, genuinely seeming to listen this time.

Nina stood alone looking at her. She answered coldly and quietly. "He is dead. What did you expect? That he would stay with you forever. He is dead; they have taken him from you, as you knew they would."

The woman stood looking at Nina for a moment, let out a despairing cry and ran along the balcony towards the river. Nina had seen what she thought were windows on the side of the house overlooking the river. When the woman reached them, Nina realized they were doors. The woman fumbled with something for a moment and then opened one of the doors. With one last despairing look towards the front door, she turned and disappeared outside.

Everything went quiet as Nina became aware of herself alone in the house. Then she heard a distant cry, like the call of a seagull, or children playing in a far off field. It was followed by a splash as something hit the water. She heard the splash through one of the windows on the same level as the front door where she now stood alone in the house. She walked almost idly over to the window, looking out over the river, even leaning out to see if there was anything there. There was nothing to see, just some ripples in the water, maybe a slight disturbance below the surface, nothing any casual passer by would remark on.

Nina stood on her own for a moment looking at the last dying light of the day over in the East. It was getting dark and a cool breeze was blowing off the river. She stepped back from the window and closed it. She crossed to the front door and unlocked it. Nina remembered seeing some candles in the kitchen and determined to get some light in the house and perhaps some food on the stove if she could find any.

To follow this thread in the story go to: Balanced on His Feet

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